'Sup

A girl and her sun spot

Before she fell asleep Jolie was pushing Dade away from her, telling him to get out of her sun. As soon as she fell asleep Dade snuggled up- happy share Jo, the blanket, and the sun!

My Helpful Reading

I like to read. In addition to fiction, I'm always reading things to help me be a better parent, wife, and person!

Books:

Positive Discipline for Children with Special Needs - I love love love the Positive Discipline books. I almost always have one playing in my car. I purchased this several months ago thinking of Olivia, but it has certainly been helpful with Nyah (and really all my kids).

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families - just excellent stuff!

The New Social Story Book - an effective way of teaching autistic/asperger's children is through social stories. So far I've had mixed results, but we're just getting started! I've also found videos on youtube by searching for a specific topic or on this blog - Aspergers Social Stories.

Some articles that have recently caught my eye:

3 Mistakes We Make Leading Kids and How to Correct Them - good for all parents! 

Have I shared Drops of Awesome before? Here is a follow up - Don't Be Their Negative Voice - also good for all parents

The Power of Mothers and Babies

National Center for Learning Disabilities has tons of great information & articles I've found very helpful - 
How Parents Can Be Advocates for their Children
Tips for Parenting a Child with AD/HD
A Parent's Top 10 Tips and Tricks for the IEP Process, Part 1 and Part 2

TOS Homeschool Crew:
Homeschooling Your Special Needs Child
Homeschooling Special Needs Children: Combining Therapy and Homeschooling

I know my focus seems a little obsessive :) but really this isn't something new. I've been researching and doing so many different things with Nyah for so long, trying to figure things out - so to finally have a direction to go that will actually be really, truly helpful makes me giddy.  Plus, I have two special needs girls - Nyah & Olivia. Olivia is just getting started in her learning journey and I *hope* I can help her journey be easier than it has been for Nyah. 

Seashells by the Seashore - Sort of

Kurt recently brought home some starfish and shells from a trip to San Diego. Olivia put a shell to each ear and said, "Mom! I can hear both oceans!"

Fashion Police

After a bath and instructions to get dressed, Olivia & Jo came down wearing a shirt and . . . . a shirt. They ran around, chasing each other and waving their 4 arms. When it was time for pictures they insisted Sophie join them. 

These girls crack me up!

My entertainment

Books
I was in a book slump. I didn't know what I wanted to read. So I re-read Edenbrooke. Then I re-read all my favorite parts. Then I re-read all my favorite parts again. And again. Then I tried to find some similar books through goodreads. 

I read some of Sarah M. Eden's books - The Kiss of a Stranger and Friends & Foes, which I liked well enough to request a couple of her other books. In desperation, I read The Pirate Ruse by Marcia Lynn McClure which started okay, but ended sappy. Ok, it was probably sappy the whole time. Then I grabbed a book of short stories by Georgette Heyer - Pistols for Two. Oh, Ms. Heyer - I love her books.

Then I grabbed a series I've been meaning to read for a long time - Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books. I read from One for the Money to To the Nines.

In between those I re-read some of my favorite Georgette Heyer books -  Arabella, The Unknown Ajax, The Quiet Gentleman, and Sylvester. 

I read Prom & Prejudice and a few more Jane Austen spin offs. 

Now I'm back in a slump, I have a couple more of the Stephanie Plum books and I have a couple holds coming from the library, but I'm not all that excited about them. 

Ive been reading Robin Hood with Austin- Roger Lancellyn Green's and Howard Pyle's to compare. White Stallion of Lipizza and Sarah Bishop with Nyah. Happy Birthday Felicity! (book 4 of American Girl series) with Olivia & Jolie. Sandra Boynton books with Sophie. Ooo, snuggle puppy of mine!

TV
I'm watching the Amelia Pond Dr Who seasons again. I was watching Downton Abbey with Kurt, but it's not a show I've gotten all that interested in, so I stopped when he went out of town. Kurt and I are watching Castle season 4. 

Other
I'm planning our next school year. It's so fun. I'm being sincere :) I love looking at all the possibilities and researching different programs and trying to find the perfect fit and talking with my kids about what they want to learn. Note to self: talk to kids before you start planning next time, because they will want something completely different than you think they want. This planning is a little early this year, but we have a deadline for My Tech High this week so I needed to get an idea of what we wanted to do and talking about it got me excited. I'll probably change it a dozen times before our next school year anyways.

Valentine's Day

I know I already mentioned some of what we did for Valentine's Day, but here are some pictures - 

Our family's annual treasure hunt-

We had our commonwealth clubs - Nyah's group was doing a service project so she made cookies that morning.

In the afternoon all the girls when to a senior assisted living center and "heart attacked" the doors and left a bag of cookies at each one. These are also some women the girls are pen pals with so it was wonderful for the girls to meet the women they are writing. 

That night we had a family Valentine's dinner and watched Hotel Transylvania - yes, mixing our holidays a little. 

The next day we had our homeschool Valentine's party, which is one of my favorite homeschool group activities of the year - easy and lots of fun!

The girls received these adorable hershey kiss rings. Did they dance around and dream about their prince charmings? Oh no, they ran around demanding their vassals kiss their rings to swear loyalty or they would be beheaded. I'm serious. Olivia actually said the word, "vassals."  

  I kissed everyone's rings. I'm not taking any chances.

13 Years! Wowzers!

I've been playing on a volleyball team with young, newly married women. One day one of them asked me, "How do you keep your marriage strong?" I had two reactions - first, I thought, "Am I that person who is asked for marriage advice? Oh my, I am, crap, I need something to say." Second, my response, "Um, just keep going?!" Yes, yes, that is my great, profound advice for marriages everywhere :)

Fortunately, I have a fabulous man who is willing to keep going with me. Love you Kurt!

Helpful Jo

The other day I went shopping with only Jolie. Afterwards, when we reached the car, Jolie said, "Mom! Give me your keys and I'll start the car."

Oh yeah, 'cause that's something I need my mischievous 4 year old to know. 

Super Sophie

Sophie's first ever haircut

Asleep

Making faces

Walking on walls

First ever visit to the dental chair

New best pal

What a great place to fall asleep - under and behind a chair, pressed up against a picture.

Oh I love this girl!

I'm so grateful

I'm so grateful for my husband and my kids. We have an up and down life, but it's mostly filled with ups. We had a fun family Valentine's Day yesterday - a treasure hunt in the morning, commonwealth club activities in the afternoon, family dinner & watching Hotel Transylvania together. 

I'm so grateful for the online world of special needs kids. I'm so grateful for the love and support and acceptance found there. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to pray for sweet "friends" who are facing hard times. I'm so grateful to love and care for people outside of myself. 

Here are a few:

Mitchell's Journey

Team Tori - on FB

life at manchester estate

Tripp Halstead Updates

We're getting closer to Olivia's next MRI - February 26th. I think her left cheek looks slightly bigger than a few months ago. But I don't know. Maybe I'm being paranoid. I pray I am. 

Please pray with us for our sweet girl. 

Homeschooling - Keep Going

Whenever I tell people I homeschool, their reply is usually some variation of:

I could never homeschool, because . . . 
I don't have the patience. 
I couldn't handle being with my kids all day.

But I have a secret to share.

Homeschooling doesn't automatically make a patient, pleasant mom. It doesn't automatically make kids attentive, obedient, and pleasant. 

Sometimes I can be impatient and grumpy. My kids too. Sometimes we don't like to be around each other. Sometimes there is fighting. Crying. Hitting. Biting. Tantrums. Attitudes. Rolling eyes. Death stares.

And the chaos, oh my! 

However, homeschooling is like doing anything else. 

If you want to be good at something you have to keep trying. Keep practicing. Keep working on it. Keep going.

And public school teachers? They have good days and bad days. Sometimes they're patient. Sometimes they aren't. 

Sometimes they'd rather be on a lounge chair on the beach of a tropical island soaking up the hot sunshine far, far away from their students. Me too. 

But they keep coming back to school. Keep trying. Keep practicing. Keep working on it. Keep going. 

Public school parents? good days and bad days.
Doctors? good days and bad days.
Cashiers? good days and bad days.
Truck drivers, nurses, waitresses, accountants - they all have bad days and good days too. 

But they all keep trying, keep practicing, keep working on it, keep going.

Noticing a pattern? 

So, if you want to homeschool . . . keep going.

When I think about all the wonderful things that come with homeschooling - Lots of hugging and snuggling. Lots of triumphs and cheering each other on. Lots of friendly, happy, contented playing. Lots of learning together and discussing ideas. Lots of shared experiences - the challenging times are worth it. 

Austin is Awesome!

What boy doesn't love duct tape?

 Crossbow he made:

Limerick he wrote:

There once was a knight 

Who rode in the night

Yelling his made up word:

Thou art a nerd! Thou art a nerd!

And so for the rest of his life

He yelled at the other knights!

I LOVE AUSTIN!!

Oh my Nyah!

**Updated with additional information February 14, 2013**

I don't know how to start this post, but this is a subject I've been feeling I need to share on the blog. So I'll just blurt it out:

Nyah is on the autism spectrum.

I am immensely relieved. 

I've long known "something" is going on with Nyah. She has behavior problems. She has learning disabilities. Something something something. 

Over the years I've reached out to various experts - other parents, pediatricians, family doctors, the local public school. I've read so many parenting books it's impossible to remember them all. I've read books about the brain, learning styles, learning disabilities, sensory disorders, processing disorders, ADD/ADHD, and so on. I've researched numerous theories, projects, programs, companies. I've tried so many different educational and learning programs it's ridiculous. It makes my head spin to think about everything I've tried. 

I had even looked at Autism/Aspergers, but she didn't fit with the typical boy-dominated symptoms. 

So I continued on. Trying to figure things out. Trying to figure out how I could help Nyah. 

And then came the Christmas Party from Hell - Dec. 2013. It was horrible. 

In hindsight, I should have known it would be horrible. If I'd thought about it at all, I would have known it could be horrible. 

Large crowd = overwhelmed and stressed girl

Strangers talking to her, expecting her to interact with them = overwhelmed and stressed girl

Fun games with prizes = winning & losing, not getting the prize she wanted, prizes breaking, losing a prize piece = emotional roller coaster = overwhelmed and stressed girl

The result? Major meltdown, completely out of control. Kurt took her to the car, I rounded up the rest of our kids, and we left.

Kurt says it wasn't that bad. I think she was worse than her normal. The reason I should have known it could be horrible is because we know she has a hard time in similar situations - other work parties, homeschool group activities or field trips, new activities with new people, and so on. She does much better if she has a way to escape the situation stressing her out - a way to withdraw from the group and center herself - such as running off to the playground to let off steam or hiding out in a bathroom stall for a a few deep breaths. At the Christmas Party, I didn't recognize what was happening until it was too late. I was distracted when I was with her, and then she and Austin were off together playing games while Kurt and I were with the younger girls. 

A week or two before the Christmas party, I'd met up with an old high school friend for dinner and shopping. Her son has Asperger's and we spent a little time talking about how he was doing. When Nyah's meltdown happened, this visit sprang to my mind.

I didn't think of my friend's son because he and Nyah are the same or similar, because I really don't know much about my friend's son's individual situation. 

That night I googled "aspergers and girls" and found a completely different perspective. 

Aspergers in Girls - scroll down to May Not Be Diagnosed, the video is interesting  but not necessary to understanding the point I want to make.

Oh the relief! Do you remember all those experts I reached out to? Their variety of answers all boiled down to the same thing: It was my fault and Nyah's fault. According to them, Nyah needed anger management classes, she needed to learn how to be in control of herself, she needed to try harder. As for me, I need to be more consistent, more firm, have clear expectations, rules, and consequences. I needed to make her do school work, make her behave. 

And we tried. Oh, we both tried. I may as well have waved a wand around. 

But to know it's not something she has control over? 

Asperger's - It was the first time when everything about Nyah fit under one diagnoses. I was overwhelmed. I cried. I wanted to climb on the roof and shout to the heavens, HALLELUJAH! 

The following day I emailed our online charter school. They put me in touch with our umbrella school (located in Cedar City, UT) and they sent me a bunch of autism spectrum tests, which I filled out and returned. 

The result is that we know Nyah is on the autism spectrum. 

We've done some additional testing with the umbrella school (a special ed teacher came up here for a few days and we met at the library) and I'm waiting for the results and a suggested IEP.

I'm not going to share Nyah's experiences very much on the blog. There are some things I will share, such as the wonderful resources for school that we've found for her, but otherwise I'm going to respect her privacy in this area. If you have questions, send me an email or message through facebook.

I want to point out that while the diagnoses is new, the symptoms/behaviors are not. We've been working on a trial & error basis for all of Nyah's life - working to understand her better, learning her triggers and best coping techniques, and figuring out how she learns and what works best for her to get an education. What the diagnoses gives me is a new framework for all these things and a new understanding of Nyah. I am so incredibly grateful for this information! I'm so incredibly grateful to be Nyah's mom. She is a wonderful, caring, spectacular girl and this isn't going to change any of that. 

Pancake Day

Hmmm, what will we have?

See the look on my face? Austin had just stuffed 1/4 of his pancake stack in his mouth. 

Sophie had much more fun playing in the blinds and under the table than she did eating pancakes. 

International Pancake Day!!

Yuck

My parents recently went to visit my Grandma Nina in Sioux Falls, SD. They left their car parked in our driveway. 

Someone tried to break in. The battery died. And when we were trying to get the car open to go pick them up from the airport, the key broke off. 

So they got to spend an extra night with us. 

I think it would've been cheaper for them to leave the car at home and take the shuttle, or park in long-term parking at the airport. Next time I guess. 

Sigh. 

Hallelujah!

We're well again!

Have I mentioned how much fun it is to be stuck waiting in a small room with my little people? I'm always glad when we leave and they've managed NOT to break something, most especially their own heads, while twirling on the doctor's stool or climbing on the table. 

These pictures are a couple weeks old, taken at the end of January. January = the-month-of-never-ending-sicknesses. I haven't had so many sleep-interrupted nights since Sophie was a wee baby. I do not operate well on consistent loss of sleep. I'm still trying to recover.  

Do re mi fa so la ti

DO!

Nyah started voice lessons. She's enjoying them.

Wintry School Day

Homeschool Choir

Sledding with friends

Me & my girls

Excellent homeschool resources

Easy Peasy - All in One Homeschool

I have not used this curriculum yet. Mostly I've been looking through the plans and thinking about it all as I'm deliberating different things for next year. 

I'm going to start doing the "getting ready 1" with Olivia & Jolie to help them learn to read- probably only the videos as it goes through the alphabet, because we've already done several different alphabet books/craft projects/starfall/etc. the last couple years and they are going through the letters (again) in their Language Lesson books. 

But, FREE is always excellent, so I thought I'd pass it on :)

Preschoolers & Peace is doing a great series on planning a year of homeschooling: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Update: I forgot about a fabulous article at the Rabbit Room - Caring for the Right Thing at the Right Time.

Watch your step!

Walking home in the fog on slick icy sidewalks = good times. You can't see it in the picture, but the sun was dimly shining through the fog above their heads. Weird weather!